Steve Miller will call you at 2 AM to kick your ass and see if you know what you’re supposed to know. He will ask about the time you and your pals got assigned to work in the back of the class because your parents complained about the slow pace. You were tired of learning that all squares are rectangles but not all rectangles are squares and you were a square but don’t you say that since it won’t scan that well with him.

Madonna will check for culture fit at lunch downtown. Order something mid-priced. Expect that Philip Dick will call when you are on the can; he believes awkwardness does wonders for the quickness of the mind. Don’t worry that Madonna is alone at the table; she knows what’s going on and will nurse a cocktail until you return. Just be honest and before you leave the restroom look over your teeth in the mirror.

John Belushi will call later that day (he is not much of a morning person). Be sure that you review the time last year when you counted down to the sunrise: you started at five—to four—to three two one and then the sun appeared right on your cue. The light spilling over the horizon; the shimmer atop the low ocean waves; the first touch of warmth on that cold morning. He likes detail-oriented people.